Hearing of yet another tragic end to an amazing talent, Whitney Houston, made me wonder: what in the world is so attractive about being famous? Theories abound. Tucker Max, author of, “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell,” states that he believes that fame is our society’s most important indicator of power.[1] Dr. Donna Rockwell, clinical psychologist, suggests that fame is, psychologically speaking, parallel in nearly every way to drug and substance addiction.[2] Presumably, then, the allure of fame is the same as the allure of any drug… I want to feel better, stronger, happier, or, yes, more powerful. Dr. Thomas Plant posits that perhaps our own fear of death and the potential lack of relevance of our lives drive our desire to be known, and thus, to matter in some way to the world.[3]
I think, since I came to Nashville with the hope of being famous, that they are all correct. At some point in my life, having felt powerless and unhappy for long enough, I thought fame would solve my problems. I was drawn to the idea of having people smile at me, wanting to be near me, wanting to hear what I had to say (or sing). I would make friends with the world. And I would have the kind of power that would allow me to request everything from my most idiosyncratic preferences (like J. Lo’s request for Heliotrope scented candles in her dressing rooms), to the most generous of donations (when I would make guest appearances on the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon, of course). Finally, because I knew how short life could be, fame would help to ensure I would not be forgotten.
One characteristic about fame that I want to address, however, is that it’s very subjective. In Nashville, for example, we who care about writing songs all know the name Dave Berg. Unless you are an aficionado of country music, however, the kind that scans CD covers for absolutely every bit of information, you probably don’t know or care that he’s written hits like, “If You’re Going Thru Hell,” “Stupid Boy,” or “What Kind of Gone.” Sure, there are those people who have become world renowned, but most fame is more localized, and often fleeting.
While this might seem like a bad thing, it’s actually one of the best things. If you are looking for fame, that is to say, if you are looking to matter to this world, then remember that your world is exactly that, yours. To someone, you are the most powerful, most liked, most well-known in your field. (Haven’t you ever heard a child ask a complete stranger, “Do you know my dad?” As far as that child is concerned, his dad is famous!) Today, redefine “famous,” to mean having or knowing something that allows you to be heard, makes you feel good, and allows you to realize that you matter. Think of those people who listen when you speak, enjoy when you feel happy, and miss you when they are not with you. To them, you are a Super Star.
[1] Interview with S. Kauffman, Psychology Today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-minds/201107/conversations-creativity-tucker-max.
[2] Rockwell, D. & Giles, D.C. (2009). Being a Celebrity: A phenomenology of fame, Journal of Phenomenological Psychology (40) 178-210.
[3] Plant, T. (2011). Could death anxiety be behind our quest for fame? Psychology Today. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/do-the-right-thing/201102/could-death-anxiety-be-behind-our-quest-fame
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