I have a friend who says that people would rather be right than happy.
Think about that. It’s a big assertion. What does it mean?
I remember talking to some of the girls that work with me. I asked, “Why is it that people always anticipate the worst possible outcome, instead of focusing on the best that could happen?”
Answer: “Because people don’t want to be disappointed. If they anticipate the worst, and get the worst, they aren’t let down. But if they anticipate the best, and get the worst, they look stupid.” So, anticipating the worst doesn’t feel good (i.e. makes you unhappy), but it’s better than being wrong.
Honestly! What is so important about being right? Are our egos so fragile that we think being wrong will crush us? Would we rather make a list of cons before we make a list of pros, just to protect ourselves? From what, exactly?
It seems to me that, if we live expecting the best, we are in joy as we anticipate the coming of that best. Whereas, if we live expecting the worst, we are in dread as we anticipate the coming of the worst. Of the two mindsets, regardless of the actual outcome, I think I’d rather live happily anticipating the best. Then, if the worst happens and I am surprised by it, at least I have had a period of time prior to that wherein I was joyful.
I am reminded, also, of some of the irrelevant spats I used to have with my ex. We would fight about some of the least important details, until one of us would prove the other wrong. Oh, perfect. So the relationship takes a beating for the sake of “I told you so?” Again, right, but not happy.
I am going to start looking for this. I wonder how often I fight to be right at the expense of my own joy or the joy of those around me. I think that’s why they say, “Ignorance is bliss.” I think not having the burden to be right all the time could truly be the road to happiness.
Of course, I could be wrong.
I do think that "Ignorance IS bliss". I stopped watching the news on TV for a while and I did feel happier. We are all conditioned by the media and the opinions of others. 95% of what we see on the news channels is about the worst of humanity. Most of these reality shows on TV are about people wanting fame and money at what ever cost! If we opt out of caring about things outside of our lives we are happier, but are we not just burying our heads in the sand or by doing this are we hoping to spread happiness?
ReplyDeleteGreat question, Graham. My stance on this is a bit like my stance on the balance between social responsibility versus voyeurism. Are you watching the news so that you can feel "informed," in the same way the town gossip feels informed about everyone's divorces, affairs and mishaps? Or, are you looking for a way to improve your life and the lives of those around you? Hearing what Congress is doing on the evening news and then complaining about it and spreading negative and fear-based emotions is neither socially responsible, nor joy provoking, for example. Better to be ignorant about their conduct than to be half-aware (the half the media portrays) and then suffer in your worry, your speech, your attitude. Progress feels good. Ideas feel good. Awakening a social conscience feels good. All joy provoking. I am reminded of a quote of my father's: "Unless you are willing to do something about it, don't waste your time (and everyone else's) complaining." Your creative brainpower can be better put to use almost anywhere else.
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