Living In Joy

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Resources Part 5: Your Finances

Resources: Part 5 – Finance
I often talk in my seminars about how we use the phrase, “…but I don’t have the money,” as an excuse for not living our perfect dream life, more often than we really should. “I would quit my job, if I didn’t need the money…” or “I would go to Italy, but I don’t have the money…” or “I would go back to school, if I only had the money…” Sound familiar? The worst part about this is that this kind of thinking actually puts money in charge of our dreams, and takes the power completely away from us. I submit to you that rarely in our lives is there an actual lack of money, and that what we are more likely to lack is the creativity, the relationships, or the “want to,” to really go for what we think we want.
When you consider your finances, please remember that money is just dirty, little pieces of paper that we have all agreed to trade for things we really want. However, don’t you have other things of value you could trade? Essentially, we have completely lost track of the fact that we live within a barter system. Our financial brains don’t even process that way, anymore. But what if they did? What if you looked at all of the things that you have to offer, and started offering them? What could you get in return?
Consider someone whose dream it is to be a chef, but who doesn’t, “have the money,” to chase that dream. Since groceries are one of the expenses everyone has, how about this: Find a working mother/wife who would love to have dinner on the table when she gets home. Combine both people’s grocery lists, so that, for the price of a few extra groceries, the mother could avoid the store and the cooking, while the would-be chef shops and cooks for her. The chef gets to live his/her dream and have groceries in the house, and the wife/mother gets to live her dream of having dinner on the table when she gets home. It doesn’t replace the need for that job that earns a living, but it’s a start.   
This is just one thought for you. I hope you can imagine how it might play out in your world with your dreams. While I’ve bartered things like tutoring other students in nursing courses in exchange for credit hours from the college, and painting walls  in exchange for the supplies I needed to repair my own home, I’m not oblivious to the fact that some things just demand the cash. I haven’t yet found a way to barter with the electric company, for example. Therefore, I’ve listed, below, a few of the resources I’ve used to help me improve my relationship with money, so that I can be better at saving and budgeting.  
Author of “Finish Rich,” David Bach has http://finishrich.com/lattefactor/, which includes his incredible, eye-opening quiz. You may be sitting on a gold mine, and not even realize it.
One of the most popular and successful money gurus?  www.daveramsey.com. After all, who better to tell you how to get out from under debt and looming bankruptcy than someone who has been there?
And the classic, “Rich Dad , Poor Dad,” by Robert Kiyosaki is a must read, if you really want to understand how to make and keep money around you. You can find this book used, on Amazon, for just a couple of dollars.    
Think about bartering, and think about how to take more control of your own financial picture. Before you know it, you will be controlling your finances instead of letting your finances dictate to you.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Resources, Part 4 - Your Health

Resources: Part 4 – Health
When it comes to my physical health, proper diet and exercise, I struggle. It’s not the lack of knowing what to do. Essentially, maintaining physical health boils down to three things: physical activity, nutrition, and proper rest. The rest part I get. What about activity and nutrition? I know I should walk and stretch and run and play. I know I should eat fresh produce and lean protein sources. I don’t. and I don’t know why it feels so difficult to me. As for Health Resources then, I can only tell you some of the things that periodically help me stay on track, admit to you that I struggle, and ask you to also share your resources with me.
First, let me start by saying that I absolutely relate to Elizabeth Gilbert’s summary of her relationship to calories. Enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZY86k2NjTY for a little perspective. (In case you are a man reading this, just know that no woman will “ask you to leave” either.) As it turns out, we are really the only ones cruelly measuring ourselves against Victoria’s Secret and Guess jean models. If I had a friend who talked to me the way I talk to myself when I look in the mirror after my shower, I’d ditch her and eat an entire pint of Haagen Dazs in protest.
Next, I like this quote by nutritionist Adele Davis: “Every day, you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself.” I have aced college courses on anatomy and physiology, pharmacokinetics, and nutrition. You would think I would have known this. For some reason, though, the statement Ms. Davis makes is so inflexible that it immediately changed how I viewed my responsibility to my own health. I lived on the premise that I was either doing something good for me, or I wasn’t. I had never thought, until reading this, “I’m either doing something that is good for me, or I am actively producing disease. There is no neutral.” 
I also like the incredible book series, “Eat This, Not That,” (Zinczenko & Goulding). If you haven’t seen these books, find them! The authors have investigated fast food restaurants, children’s favorites, the frozen food isle, even our own cupboards, to help direct us to the “best” food choices. These books are of the, “If you are going to eat a burger and fries (which you know, at some point, I am going to do), eat THIS burger and fries,” variety. Accept my own preferences, and make better choices. Brilliant!
My last resource, but perhaps the most powerful, is a lesson in treating the whole mind, body and spirit with care and respect. Carolyn Myss’s, “Anatomy of the Spirit,” (http://www.myss.com) can be a pretty heavy exploration into metaphysical concepts like chakras and archetypes, so they’re not for everyone. However, if you can relate on any level to the phrase, “You are what you think,” then her work, founded on years of study and research, shouldn’t be missed.    
I am absolutely positive that my continuing to Live in Joy will be easier with the aid of a healthy, strong and flexible body. These resources help me, but they haven’t yet made me jump out of bed when my alarm sounds at 5am and rush to the gym. If any of you have solutions or things that motivate you, please do share. And, as always, have a wonderful, healthful week!  

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Resources: Part 3 - Your Home

“Home is where the heart is.”
 The sentiment is an old one, first penned by Pliny the Elder (23-79 A.D.). It’s not difficult to imagine that he, a naval commander of the Roman Empire, may have been longing to feel safe and loved, just as we do now. However, while I freely acknowledge and celebrate that any location filled with the comfort of friends and family can make a person feel “at home,” I also believe that the physical structure of your Home plays its own part in comforting your heart. As physical beings, our surroundings, though material in nature, can have a profound effect on our ability to remain in contact with our joy. How much ambient noise there is, how soft or hard the flooring, how fluffy the pillows, how open the kitchen, how light the rooms… all of these things count toward making our Home part of the best life we can imagine.
Can you define what “captures your heart” or makes you comfortable in a home? Unfortunately, some of us spend time wishing for bigger houses without really giving any thought to what makes a Home comfortable to us. This week, I want to offer you some resources for making your house more “Homey.”
First: Decide what you like and what says, “Home,” to you. What pieces do you already have that you will never live without? What artwork, dishes, or home-made pieces make you smile, every time you see or touch them? Walk around your current house. Take your time looking around. Pay attention to the place you naturally spend the most time. What do you like about that space? What do you not like?
Next: Consult the experts. There are some pretty simple “rules,” about what feels good to most people in the way of positioning furniture, setting your lighting, etc. www.interiorholic.com is a favorite website for rules and inspiration. When in doubt, contact a decorator. You don’t have to be rich to have a consultation. Experienced, trained decorators can walk into a room and almost immediately see what it needs to feel warmer, more livable, or more “user-friendly.” At $85-$150 per hour, having them come into your home and give you some ideas of how to achieve your “homey feeling” is a lot cheaper than buying the wrong couch. Just set the timer, so you can stay within your budget, and take lots of notes.
After That: Rearrange, paint or shop, as needed. I like to browse the big furniture stores and then check www.craigslist.com to see if I can any favorite items cheaper. Also, don’t forget your discount stores like Ross, Marshall’s, or TJ Maxx. I have found some of the most fabulous pieces for a little bit of nothing at these places. And, if you’re contemplating a large purchase, be patient and wait for a sale.
Finally: Live in your Home. There is something about food on the stove and in the refrigerator that makes your house feel different. Invite people over. Sit on your furniture and read or visit. It wasn’t until I invited people over to the apartment I live in now that I realized I was missing some important pieces. I didn’t have adequate seating, and I didn’t have anything, like the throw pillows I like so much, that felt welcoming. As it turns out, I needed those things as much for myself as for my company. And finally, nearly a year after moving-in, I recognize my apartment as my Home. Why? Because now it is what I expect a home to be: a welcoming environment for me and my friends.
 Have fun, and enjoy your Home!