Watch This!

Have you ever noticed how children face challenges? Is it because everything is new to them that they are so undaunted? With a gleeful shout of, “Hey, mom! Watch me!” they commence conquering whatever challenge looms before them. If they fail, they put a finger in the air. “Wait. Watch, mom. Are you watching?” and they try again. When they succeed, they throw their hands in the air, smile brightly, and sing, “Ta-Daaaa!” wearing a smile as wide as their faces.

I wonder when we lose that… Or do we?

Our unit at the hospital is short-staffed. What that means is that stress levels are higher than ever, as conscientious nurses continue to provide exceptional care despite heavier workloads. What is possibly worse is that higher stress levels create a snowball effect, because the nurses we do have succumb to weariness and call-out more often, resulting in even fewer staff available and, yes, even heavier workloads than the ones already increased. I have heard, recently, some of my friends on the unit describe themselves as feeling like “half a nurse,” because they just cannot get everything done they want to do in one shift’s time.  And these feelings are not exclusive to nurses working on a short-staffed unit. Some of us live in this “half a (something)” zone, and have been living in it for some time.

It is at these times when advice like, “take time for yourself,” and “remain in touch with your joy,” seem like hollow mantras meant for those bestowed with the luxury of, well, time and joy. How do you take time for yourself when you have more to do in less time than ever? How do you remain in touch with joy when the only feelings you can sense are ones of frustration, exhaustion, and inadequacy?

Simplify? That’s one solution. Aspire to have a home more like an ashram in Tibet than a three story, dog-filled, television-blaring, suburban refuge for teens and tots. But, no. That doesn’t work. Because the truth is that we like our homes full of that kind of chaos. As for our jobs… we like them to challenge us, force us to the edge of our personal limitations, and test our fortitude. As much as we might complain, these are our lives. Heavy workloads, huge challenges, financial stressors. And these are our lives because this is how we like them to look. Like the children we once were, we like facing challenges. We like the fulfillment of a good workout, the feeling of success when we meet our deadlines, and the relief that comes when the stress is lifted, if only for a moment. We like to share with our friends what difficulties we faced (“Hey, mom! Watch this!”), and laugh with our families about when we stumbled, but returned to our feet (“Wait. Watch, mom. Are you watching?”). These are the things that build our self-esteem and make us proud. These are the things we use as examples, later. These are the things that give us cause to celebrate. “Ta-daaaa!”

So, maybe the next time you are in the middle of everything that is stressing you, exhausting you, or making you feel like “half a ______ (fill in the blank: nurse, manager, wife, father, leader, etc.),” the key to remaining in touch with your joy is remembering that you once were a child. And like the child you once were, you still want to be shown your current limits so that you can push past them. And you CAN push past them, and do more than you thought you could do. No, I don’t think we’ve ever lost the childlike ability to face challenges. Maybe the only thing we’re missing is “Hey! Watch this!” and “Ta-Daaaa!”