I attended a beautiful wedding yesterday, where two of my favorite people (we’ll call them S and R) vowed to each other, and announced to the world, their mutual promise to love. Marriage may mean different things to different people, but I think the final analysis reveals that two people have decided to be in each other’s corners, to be the one safe place, to have the two ears that will listen when no one else will, for as long as they both shall live. After life has its chance to frustrate, exhaust, and discourage these two people; after the giddiness of the insecurity of a new relationship is gone and the calm surety of a seasoned friendship is what remains; after years of opportunities have presented themselves for these two to experience one another’s basic, human flaws, there will still be that decision to love that remains, because that is the promise.
After S proposed and R said, “Yes!” their wedding date was set. What most surprised everyone in this case was that the ceremony was scheduled for just two months away. “It’s so soon!” “What’s the hurry?” “Don’t you need time to plan?” Speculation abounded, and those who had suffered failed marriages in the past were skeptical. I wonder, though, if we can really say that the process was rushed.
I suppose if the decision to marry was made the day the ring was purchased, or the day the bride accepted, then, maybe, there wasn’t much time in between for planning or being sure. However, that’s not really when these decisions are made, are they? Instead, the decision to love was made every time, over the course of their two-year courtship, that they found out something new. At first, it was simple things: S wears a lot of jewelry… can I love him? R is taking her time about introducing me to her friends… can I love her? Then, as more of their individual personalities were revealed, they had more decision points: S is not always P.C. about his opinions… can I love him? R sometimes gets annoyed when I speak my mind… can I love her?
In the end, there must have been a thousand different times they said, “Yes,” until, finally, they said, “Yes,” in a public forum, in front of their friends and family, in an effort to confirm to the world and the Lord, that they had decided to love. There really was no reason to wait. It wasn’t very sudden at all.
Most of the major decisions we make in this life are like that… made one little step at a time. How our lives are structured, in all of our life areas: career, relationship, health, finance, etc., is a result of a thousand small decisions that either take us toward or away from our dreams. “I want this pair of shoes,” when chosen 25 times, can result in mountains of debt. “I am too tired to discuss my day with my wife,” when chosen 20 days in a row, can result in separation and distance in the relationship that’s hard to mend. Just as, “I will make a point to stop what I am doing and listen to my child when he speaks,” when done consistently, can build self-esteem and engineer strong bonds of trust.
Are you aware of the thousands of little decisions you make every day that are creating your future? If you are going to Live in Joy and create a life that is of your choosing, you need to be. Make a decision of who you want to be when you open your eyes every morning, “I will be loving. I will be available. I will be aware. I will be healthy. I will make financially sound decisions,” for example, and then make choices throughout your day that support your attainment of those dreams. One day, it will feel like your dreams are coming true, suddenly, after all.
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