Fun vs. Joy

Have you ever invited someone into your home, and discovered as you met them at the door and brought them inside that you were suddenly seeing your home through their eyes? Have you been two steps ahead, picking up a blanket that was crumpled at the back of the sofa, or stacking mail and placing it in a drawer, for example? These things don’t bother you. You live with them. You barely notice them. But when you see them, suddenly, through the eyes of someone who may be taking it all in for the first time, you really see them. And you think, in a split second, “This isn’t as good as it could be. Let me make some adjustments.”

This just happened to me with someone who came to visit me after 30 years. Only it wasn’t my actual house I felt compelled to get in order, it was my proverbial house. This well-meaning friend asked me the simplest question of all: what do you do for fun? I had no answer. I love to enjoy the company of my friends at parties or over a glass of wine, and I appreciate feeling challenged at work, but what, praytell, do I do, exactly, for fun?

I suppose what I find most interesting about this is the fact that I have been doing research and setting goals and working my own Living in Joy plan for awhile now.  I’m in touch with Joy, per se, meaning that “all is well,” undercurrent that allows me to enjoy every experience for what it is, comfortable and uncomfortable, alike. It took awhile to get there, and I’m glad to report not only that I do, indeed, live in Joy, but that I am also delighted to be able to share that learning with anyone who is interested. But what about fun?  

One good thing about my Living in Joy work is that I have already answered the very difficult question, “What would you do, if you could do anything at all.” As it turns out, that puts me ahead of the game. I went back to my original answers to that very important question and found my list. I want to swim with dolphins. I want to write and travel and speak. I want to play guitar and be able to sing along. I want to find and enjoy all of that with the Love of My Lifetime, whoever he turns out to be… and lots of other “fun things.” I had forgotten those goals, in favor of learning my new management job. I had done exactly what I coach against… “Don’t give up on your dreams, while you make a living.”

As soon as I realized that I had been operating on auto-pilot, I almost immediately felt my slump of the last year dissipate. I had things to do and things to look forward to doing. I have a mission, and that is not only to live in touch with Joy, but to have fun, too!

Carolyn Myss suggests that our SoulMates aren’t the loves of our lifetime and meant to stay with us, but rather, are the transient souls who drop in for a moment to give us the wake-up calls we need along the way. If that’s the case, then this friend from my past is one of my SoulMates. Thank you for reminding me to have fun. Thank you for motivating me to continue pursuing the things I most want to experience in this lifetime. Thank you for helping me see the dust on the shelves and the clutter on the counter. Because my little corner of the world isn’t as good as it could be, it’s time to make some adjustments.

So, how about it, everyone? What do you do for fun?