Anticipation

That’s it! I’ve found it… the key to happiness! I am absolutely giddy, and do you know what caused it? You might think it’s because I’m eating Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream, or that my jeans went on a little easier this morning, or that I am on vacation, but none of those things are it. I bought a plane ticket, today! I’m going to the beach!

Isn’t it funny? I’m not in Florida. I’m going to be in Florida. Yep. The anticipation of going to Florida has me reeling. And as any child who has ever looked forward to Christmas morning can tell you, the anticipation of all of the great things to come is what has me most excited. I am anticipating drinking Rum Runners. I am anticipating lying on the beach. I am anticipating feeling that warm shower that I take to wash the sand and salt off my skin, and then cranking the tunes in my condo while I put on my make-up to go out for the evening. My body is practically shaking with joy!

Here is what I know: Christmas morning was never as fun as thinking about Christmas morning was. The movie that everyone said that I absolutely had to see was never as good as I thought it would be. And my vacation will be only three nights long, may or may not include good weather, and could possibly result in a sunburn. Still, I cannot wait! And as long as I am excitedly anticipating something, anything at all, I am about as happy as I’ll ever be. Experiences (good or bad) are the rich and wonderful sensation of being human and alive. Memories are often lovely, if bitter-sweet, and good for my inner tranquility. But the anticipation of fabulous things? Now, that’s where it’s at!

One of the things I talk about in my seminars is vision writing. I encourage people to write what they want their future to be. Part of the motivation for that is because I believe that, in order to get what you want, you have to be clear about what you want. Part of it, though, is because the anticipation of living your own dream life is one of the best ways to remain joyful. Furthermore, research shows that people suffering from depression tend to only anticipate negative future experiences, so the anticipation of positive experiences may just be the key to battling the blues.

This week, I encourage you to plan something. Anticipate something positive. No matter how far in the future you have to plan it in order for it to be believable for you (I always feel good when I review my plan to walk up the driveway to my own writer’s cabin in the mountains, for example, but that’s at least 10 years away…), write about or take the first step toward something wonderful! It’s fun to think about what’s coming, what could be, what might be, what will be... And who among us could not stand a little more fun?

Resources, Part 7: Your Community

Have you ever given much thought to how you want to experience yourself through the groups of people, not just individuals or individual circumstances? Because human beings are social animals, we will never be satisfied in isolation. Embracing the concept of belonging to a community means considering your own role in the communities to which you most belong. What do you want to give your community (or communities)? What do you want to take from it?

Your idea of the community to which you belong and relate may be different than someone else’s. For example, I have a dear friend who does world-wide, medical mission trips. Her idea of community includes the entire worldly experience of mankind. The idea of the community I choose to affect comes in much smaller groups, like my coworkers or my close friends. Neither is more correct than another. There are schools of thought that suggest our influences role out in concentric circles, and that we cannot expect to change the world, if our own households are a mess. And there are people who, recognizing that “a prophet has no honor in his own country,” begin at the outer edges of the world and move inward. At the most basic level, it’s helpful to decide to which camp you most likely belong, in order to choose your own activities and level involvement in the various communities that surround you (work, church, neighborhood, etc.).    

Once you identify what group(s) to which you most sense you belong, then it’s time to identify your own role within those groups: voyeur or activist? King or soldier? Gracious host or guard at the door? Some combination of any or all of these? Who, again, do you most want to be? How do you want to experience yourself in your community? What do you have to gain or offer?

After you’ve given this some thought, you might just check out the few resources I have, below, each designed for connecting with community members. Naturally, your online community of FaceBook is one example of reaching out and remaining connected, but I am going to encourage you to go a step further and involve yourself, physically, in your communities, however you define them.

Interested in making a difference in an area within twenty miles of your home? Go to http://www.sixdegrees.org/ for Six Degrees, an organizational initiative of Kevin Bacon’s, and do a volunteer search.

Learning to speak French? Interested in books? Collect buttons? Ever hear of Meetup (http://www.meetup.com/)? This brilliant website goes beyond dating sites and social networks to help you find groups in your area that share your interests.

The point is that we do not live in a vacuum. In fact, research shows that much of our depression is spawned by our lack of feeling connected to the communities and people around us. If you want to protect yourself from that, if you truly want to live in joy, don’t let yourself live in isolation. Choose a community, and get involved!